Apocalypse Ow!
by Felix Rodriguez
Summary: After a nuclear war only 7 Happy Tree Friends are left alive! Will they survive post-apocalyptic earth? Starring: Mime, Nutty, Toothy, Lifty, Petunia, Sniffles, and Cro-Marmot. One-shot.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Mondo Media does.

**Apocalypse Ow!**

**Starring: Mime, Nutty, Toothy, Lifty, Petunia, Sniffles, and Cro-Marmot**

**Featuring: Shifty**

It was a bright and sunny day in Happy Tree Land. The birds sang as they flew in the clear, blue sky. Toothy was pushing a mower while Nutty was getting an ice-cream from Cro-Marmot. Mime was entertaining his audience (consisting of Petunia, Lifty, and Shifty) on the sidewalk with the invisible box routine. Lifty and Shifty laughed evilly as they saw Petunia's wallet sticking out of her back pocket and proceeded to grab it.

While everyone else enjoyed this perfect day, Sniffles was inside of his house checking on the news on his computer and drinking some coffee. He clicked the mouse on the latest headline and spit his coffee out in shock as he saw the headline. Instantly, he got up from his chair and ran outside to gather anyone he could find. On the computer was the headline "Nuclear War Imminent!"

Sniffles ran over to the small group of people and frantically explained to them what was going to happen. Most everyone ignored him and went right on with their lives. Sniffles growled and decided he should save his friends with force. He grabbed Toothy from his mowing and drug him along to a shelter under Sniffles' workshop he had made for just the occasion. Toothy, not wanting to budge, put up a fight with Sniffles. Sighing, Sniffles showed Toothy the news on his laptop to which Toothy instantly yelled and ran down into the bunker to save himself.

Sniffles then went back and showed his laptop screen to Nutty and Cro-Marmot. Nutty simply licked his ice cream and Cro-Marmot just stood behind his ice cream truck window. Sniffles sighed and went over to coax the other group, but heard a sliding sound and turned around to see that Cro-Marmot's block of ice was now next the stairs leading to the bunker.

Sniffles now went over to the other group, but felt his heart drop when he heard the air raid sirens. Instantly, Lifty, Shifty, and Petunia got up from their seats and started to scream and run around in circles in fear. Sniffles signaled for them and Mime to follow him which they all obeyed. As they ran, Sniffles grabbed the giggling Nutty's arm and drug him along to the bunker where Cro-Marmot and Toothy were inside.

Sniffles shoved Nutty down first and Petunia and Mime quickly followed him down. Sniffles tried to shut the door only to find that it wouldn't stay closed, causing Sniffles to fear for everyone's lives. Someone would have to stay outside to hold the door closed while someone else closed it shut on the inside. Sniffles sighed and ushered for the two raccoons to get inside.

Uncharacteristically, Shifty shook his head and instead took Sniffles' place at holding the door. "Huh?" asked Sniffles, but Shifty only grabbed his confused brother and gave him to Sniffles to take down in the bunker. Lifty yelled for his brother, but Shifty did not obey as he closed the door. Quickly, Sniffles welded the inside of the door, securing it in position and he ran down the stairs to join the others in the small shelter.

In the basement everyone now was frightened and didn't understand what was going on. Lifty was probably the most visibly shaken of them all because of his brother's sacrifice. Sniffles simply sighed and sat in the middle of the room. Suddenly, a massive explosion was heard by everyone, signaling the destruction of the world. Petunia and Toothy screamed at the top of their lungs, not wanting to die. Lifty grabbed his ankles and rocked himself back and forth. Mime was running back and forth in a circle, imaginary screaming. All Nutty did was giggle as he still had no idea what was going on. Cro-Marmot simply stood still, as usual.

To calm everyone down, Sniffles yelled at the top of his lungs and everyone instantly quieted down. Sniffles explained the situation and went over to a Geiger counter that Sniffles had implanted to measure the amount of radiation outside. Until the radiation level dropped, they would be stuck in that room.

And so, for the next 48 hours, things adjusted and they all tried to make the best of things. Many people chatted (apart from Cro-Marmot and Mime). Mime kept the group entertained with some of his routines, and even Lifty regained some of his former self by stealing several objects from the other survivors when they were not looking.

48 hours later, the radiation level had dropped to an acceptable level and the group prepared to leave. Sniffles and Toothy gathered up all the food they could carry while Mime, Lifty, Nutty, and Petunia helped drag Cro-Marmot (who had ropes tied around his ice block) up the stairs. At the top of the stairs, Sniffles reached out and barely touched the door with his finger, and the door fell outwards revealing the post-apocalyptic landscape. Everyone stared at the barren landscape for anything recognizable. Where there used to be buildings, trees, and vehicles there was only brown, destroyed land.

Everyone simply stood around, too shocked to move. Finally, Nutty spied something glowing green in a puddle nearby. He giggled as he ran over and, assuming it was candy, started to shovel the irradiated plasma in his mouth. Sniffles noticed this, gasped, and ran over to drag Nutty away from the irradiated goo. He shoved Nutty back and turned him around to see what damage had been caused. Nothing appeared to be wrong with the laughing Nutty who still had green plasma around his mouth.

"Phew!" sighed Sniffles, who had expected much worse for Nutty. Nutty still laughed crazily but his tongue then fell out of his mouth. Nutty screamed as blood poured out of his mouth from the wound. Nutty's eyes then melted and two tentacles popped out of his empty eyeholes. The others watched in horror as Nutty's skin started to melt off in strips as the screaming, mutilated Nutty fell on the floor, more tentacles popping out of his body parts. Petunia, Mime, and Lifty ran from the indistinguishable bloody form dragging Cro-Marmot behind them. Sniffles and Toothy ran after them to stop them from running as they needed to stick together in this new world.

Nutty, now a red, tentacled mess, gargled blood in what used to be his mouth. He then groaned and lay still, blood pouring out from under his destroyed form.

The three pulling the block of ice now stopped in the middle of their run. Petunia screamed and all three turned around and ran the opposite way, pulling Cro-Marmot behind them. Then came Sniffles and Toothy, panting from running so hard. Toothy looked up, gasped, and ran away screaming with the others. Sniffles simply growled and wiped some sweat from his brow. He wondered why they kept running, but Sniffles looked up and saw why the others were scared for their lives.

In front of him was a member of the ant family that Sniffles always tried to eat only much, MUCH bigger. Due to the radiation, the ants now had grown to at least 30 feet high. The ant recognized Sniffles and roared at him. Sniffles screamed and tried to run away, only to be grabbed by the giant ant. The ant dragged Sniffles underground to the other ants. Another member of the giant ant family came over and grabbed Sniffles' arms while the first ant held onto Sniffles' legs. Together, both ants pulled the screaming Sniffles apart. Each ant now ate its respective half of the dead Sniffles.

The others, now tired from running and/or pulling Cro-Marmot stopped to catch their breath. Without Sniffles, the group had no leader but more serious was the fact that half of their food was now gone with Sniffles' passing. Lifty now stood out in front of the others and commanded that he should be their new leader. Toothy, Petunia, and Mime all gave incredulous looks at the command. Lifty laughed his laugh and withdrew a knife he had stolen from Sniffles' bunker. The other three held their hands up so Lifty would not hurt them. They all sighed (or in Mime's case "imaginary sighed") because they had to give into Lifty's demands.

Later, Lifty was now on top of Cro-Marmot with his knife giving the commands. Mime, Petunia, and Toothy now pulled Cro-Marmot along in the blazing sun towards the center of what used to be town. Unbeknownst to the others, Cro-Marmot's block of ice had begun to slowly melt due to the heat. The group finally reached the center of the former town and Lifty sent the other three to look for food while he rested on top of Cro-Marmot.

Petunia checked through what used to be a bakery and found a loaf of bread. "Mmm!" she said and bit into the bread. The bread, however, was rock solid and broke several of Petunia's teeth as soon as she bit into it. Petunia screamed as blood gushed out of her mouth.

Toothy picked up an apple, only to have it dissolve into dust. "Aw," complained Toothy at the loss of the food.

A sad Mime was cheered up when he spied some peanuts in a broken window. As he reached out his hand, however, his arm was taken off by a nail board. The others gasped as Mime tried to run away, only to be attacked by a yellow-skinned, mutated Generic Tree Friend. The peanuts had been a trap as the mutated Tree Friend beat Mime to a bloody pulp with his nail board.

Lifty now got down from the top of the melting Cro-Marmot and ran away by himself while Petunia and Toothy grabbed the ropes tied around Cro-Marmot and ran out of town pulling the ice block behind them. Lifty ran by another broken window pain, only to spy a fedora like his brother wore.

"OOO!" gazed Lifty at the hat, who laughed and reached out to grab it. The hat was another trap as another mutated creature, formally a lizard, was wearing the hat and jumped Lifty. Lifty screamed as the creature clawed Lifty's face with its long claws. It then proceeded to slice Lifty's stomach open, spilling his innards on the ground. The creature then reached its claws into Lifty's mouth and pulled the screaming Lifty's skull out of its body. It threw away the skull and proceeded to feast on the rest of the body.

Petunia and Toothy were once again tired from pulling the block of ice as they now spied what appeared to be a puppy approaching them. Petunia ran up to it with widened eyes and gave an "Aw!" at how cute it was. Instantly, the irradiated dog growled and jumped at Petunia. Petunia screamed as the dog opened its mouth vertically (instead of horizontally) and started to maul her. Toothy again screamed and ran away pulling the almost unfrozen Cro-Marmot along behind him as the dog finished tearing Petunia to pieces.

Soon, a weakened Toothy stopped to catch his breath and let go of the rope that was pulling Cro-Marmot. Toothy heard a noise behind him and turned with a "Hmm?" Behind him was Cro-Marmot, now completely unfrozen and grunting in caveman talk. Not being used to the time period, Cro-Marmot growled and roared. Toothy tried to run only to be pounded by Cro-Marmot's club. Cro-Marmot then began pounding Toothy with his club again and again. Soon, Toothy was pounded into a bloody pancake and Cro-Marmot looked up at the sun and screamed.

Then, the view turned from decrepit wasteland to a clean warehouse. There was a grinning Shifty, holding a virtual reality visor that he had taken off Cro-Marmot. It turned out that the whole thing had been a simulation that was run by Shifty. Shifty received payment from Cro-Marmot and the block of ice left the warehouse on his unicycle past the teetering, poorly-made "Virtual Adventure!" sign above him.

Shifty jumped up and down in jubilation at receiving payment. Behind him, however, were the destroyed bodies of the other six that had been inside the simulation. As they died in the simulation, they died too in real life. It also turned out that the "sacrifice" Shifty made in the simulation let Shifty take off his virtual eyewear and rob the others in real life, without falling victim to the simulation itself. Though his brother had died in the simulation, Shifty didn't care for he had made money.

Shifty stared at the money in his hands and laughed his evil laugh. As he celebrated his success; however, the "Virtual Adventure!" sign fell from above and crushed Shifty. Shifty's fedora landed on top of the fallen sign. Suddenly the lizard creature from the simulation popped its head out, looked around warily, grabbed Shifty's fedora, put it on its head, and retreated back from whence it came, followed by an iris out.

**Moral: Stoop to conquer! **

Ending note: Anyone who has played Fallout 3 will recognize some of the references I put in there (giant lizard - Deathclaw, yellow-skinned Tree Friend - Super Mutant, etc.). If anyone has an idea for a story, I'd be glad to hear it only please do not give me an idea that involves your own characters. I may do a collaboration with other OC's someday, but for now, I would like only official characters (you MAY include my OC, The Cat)!


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